Sunday, January 1, 2012

NYNY Week 3

This week's prompt is Something You've Been Putting Off. I've got a few major things: clearing the paperwork, debt repayment, starting a sustainable at home religious practice. I keep feeling uninspired to do these things because I feel constantly like nothing is permanent so why get settled. Jobs have been uncertain, so I haven't felt able to commit money to debts, despite completely being able to spend in the moment. If things are already in boxes it is easier to move them. If I create a religious practice then I have to do it. It's a lot of fear of commitment. I think I can pin this down to being unhappy where I am and not wanting to commit to it, but that could be more posturing. I've become defined by my dissatisfaction, it seems like. The link underneath all of it is giving up being miserable. Right now I'm pinning that one on a change of residence, but I'm beginning to realize it's got to come from inside first.
Something to reflect on for this new year. . .

2 comments:

  1. I understand about the fear of commitment, it's definitely something I struggle with too.

    I know you can do this!

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  2. Thanks Deborah! I'm really glad to be participating here, it's giving me some good tools to work with.

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