Mid-week gratitude

Grateful, right this minute, for:

• Getting my paycheck, even though it's late.
• Ordering Indian food.
• Paying my rent.
• Cuddling my cat.
• Having the best roomie.
• Throat medicine.

NYNY Wrap Up

I didn't have enough spoons to wrap up this project the way I wanted to. Other people's schedules really hampered any kind of completion moment for me, and I'm still trudging along waiting for it all to gel. But I'm still working, and still grateful, and still moving. So, that's what I've got right now.

NYNY Week 9

Sorry, Deb. I just can't really ask for help this week. Nothing's in any shape to involve anyone else.

NYNY Week 8

This has been a rough week. Good, in a lot of ways--I've talked to my bosses, and had a really good interview, and my housemate finished doing my paperwork and did a beautiful job--but I'm exhausted.

Last night my coven did a beautiful ritual (which was hard, because I realized on a new level how much I'll miss these people that have so rapidly become family), for which one of my covenmates and I made the best jam cookies. (Our coven believes in food.) After the cookiemaking we did some divination that says that the path I thought I was on may be shifting direction. I'm not sure how to take that or ride with it, but I'm just supposed to keep moving, according to Deb, so I'm just going to reopen to possibilities and keep my chin up, my eyes open, and my feet moving.

I will be continuing my rock work, my divination, my meditations, and my moving prep. I'm stating for the record, though, that if the direction needs to be different than I originally planned, I'd rather be somewhere awesome and perfect for me than someplace I thought was right but will be disappointed by.
In that spirit, I offer an uplifting piece of my childhood:

NYNY Week 7, part 2

Continuing right along, I took a nice long shower and got all clean and nicely groomed while directing love to each part of my body, which is always nice. I'm pretty good about doing that on a regular basis, and I'm okay about taking care of doctor visits and the like, although I should see my dentist more often. What I'm not good at is basic daily self-care. I fall off the wagon with things like getting enough sleep, or eating real meals, or getting physical activity. I start a good routine, and then lose it. My biggest hurdle right now is meals--often I get home after work and the kitchen has been left messy by my housemates, or I'm out of groceries or just too tired to deal with food. So I've made up a shopping list and plan to get a bunch of frozen stuff that cooks quickly. We don't have a microwave, so it'll be more along the lines of those skillet meals of pasta and veggies with sauce, or something. Not the absolute best, but a sight better than skipping dinners. I'm also going to up my meditation time with a goal of relaxing more before sleep and sleeping more soundly. Once I move, I'll also be looking into some kind of weekly physical activity, which I'm sure will help.

NYNY Week 7, part 1

This week's prompt is about glamour and the way we care for our bodies and present ourselves. I've been plotting a wardrobe revamp for a while, so it's nice to sort it all out and write it all down. This is the list of Things I Want, having been considered for style, comfort, appropriateness to job, and general awesomeness. These would mix in well with the geeky t-shirts and broken-in comfort wear I already have.

• Corduroy blazer or sport coat
• More black sweaters! Cotton, wool, lots of different weights and cuts. Probably a few other colors, too.
• Plain button-down shirts, preferably without pockets. Short and long sleeves, natural fibers, in COLORS.
• Dark wash, relaxed fit jeans, properly tailored.
• Khakis/Dockers, properly tailored.
• A suit, probably black. (No, I don't own one.)

I'm finally in a good place with shoes. I own one pair of winter boots, one pair of low all-weather boots for daily use, an identical pair for dress wear (I wear shoes out really quickly and have a hard time finding ones I like, so when the dress pair gets worn down they'll transition to daily use), and a pair of good trail sneakers. That's it. I probably need to get more belts and ties, but they're not in daily rotation at this point so the ones I have are holding up ok. My beloved, butter-smooth, beaten up, vintage leather jacket could use some TLC, but is perfectly serviceable.

The point of the whole revamp is to present myself as more self-assured and comfortable. I want my whole wardrobe to be mixable--no "these pants don't go with that shirt." Everything should fit, and I should be able to pull out an outfit that can go anywhere in less than 10 minutes.

Self-care and grooming stuff coming up later or tomorrow in a separate post. This was fun!

NYNY Week 6

This one was hard. Like others, I'm not living near any places of personal power right now. Even my home isn't really a specifically sacred place, other than it being a place that shelters me and that I am grateful to in the security sense. I was kicking around the idea of doing a trip to all the different places I've lived in this city, but that just didn't seem like quite the thing. And then it snowed, and I knew how unlikely it was that I'd feel like trekking from Spanish Harlem to Bay Ridge. I was honestly going to blow this one off.

I haven't done any meditation in a while, though, and I had an assignment to meditate for class. Almost immediately upon settling down, I felt a tug to go to the. . .I don't know what you'd call it. It's not a temple per se. It's the sacred space I set up when I was living abroad and couldn't do much work in the physical world for various reasons. I used to be quite regular with my workings there, but haven't really made use of it in several years. I'd been thinking of it randomly over the past week or two, and I vaguely remember a dream fragment set there.The pull was pretty insistent, and the path was clear and easy, so I went. I was expecting it to be kind of dusty and empty, the way it's been the past time or two I've wandered in. Instead, it was clean and organized, but a bit chilly, the way your house is when you get home after a trip. I went to the "outdoor" section of the space, where a large cauldron was set up on the beach. I looked into it and was shown several images of the job and housing situations I will be starting in the next few weeks--all with keys that will help me know which offers to take and which to pass up. Then I was given a drink of broth from the cauldron. I heard a very strong voice saying, "It starts here. It has to start from here." Then I was told to bathe in the lake, which I did, and then I rose up out of the water and swooped in and out. Totally weird, but awesome. I felt like I was molting, dropping old growth. When I landed back on the beach, I went inside and lit a fire. I sat down next to it, and then the meditation ended itself--just faded away and I came back to the present.

I definitely feel like I'm on the right path. I lost a bunch of self-doubt back there in the lake, and took my future into myself, so I'm feeling much more confident. I definitely get the feeling that I just need to trust--I was terrified that the lake would be freezing, but it was tropically warm. The whole message seemed to say two things: "Get back to your roots," and "Come on in, the water's fine!" It was neat, and needed.